There are people we’ve known all our lives; some we’ve only just met; others, people we know only online.
Friends!
That’s what we’re talking about on this week’s episode of Men in Gorilla Suits.
We begin by talking about the first friend we remember having and how old we were when we found that friend. Are we still in touch with our first friends — find out! Also, find out who we have been friends with the longest.
Friendship can be a strange thing, with people who don’t seem similar forming life-long bonds — while some who seem totally alike having brief friendships. It made us ask: What makes people become friends with each other?
Sometimes friendships end; most of the time, just drifting apart. What causes people to lose touch with each other? We discuss that before moving on to whether or not it’s harder to make friends after high school or college…and our experiences with making friends.
Find out if we make friends easily and if we’ve ever lived with a friend — and how sharing space affected the friendship. Then we talk about the friend we could spend the rest of our lives living with if we were not married and decided to have a roommate.
It doesn’t hurt to have a lot in common with your friends, but it’s not always necessary. Find out if the friends we have are generally people we have a lot in common with…or if differences make the friendship.
We close out this episode discussing whether or not friendship is a human need, or something people can get along without.
As always, we’d love to hear your thoughts about this week’s topic in the comments below.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
CM Stewart says
Yep, I’m in New Hampshire now. 🙂
I’ve always been slow to make friends, which have been few and far between . . it’s my Fortress of Solitude personality . .
gorillamen says
I understand the Fortress of Solitude personality. It’s weird, when I’ve taken personality tests for those programs they provide after layoffs and things online, I come out as an extravert. But I REALLY LIKE solitude. A lot! My wife shared a comic strip yesterday (http://www.gocomics.com/roseisrose/2014/09/15). It sums it up rather well. Some good friends have an annual party in October. It’s huge. Last year…we decided, “Let’s skip it.” There are plenty of people we know and adore, there, but…big party! Not a fan of big. With me, once it’s over 4-6 people, I get quiet, even if I’m among friends.
Even when plans are made with friends and I know I’ll enjoy my time, as the date approached, there’s a certain dread to it. My mind slips to, “It’s the weekend, and I could be hanging out with Cynthia, writing, reading, or doing nothing at all.” The podcast is a regular thing, and even when Shawn’s wife and sister-in-law are at his place, it’s cool. I can only think of one or two times in over 85 episodes when I thought, “Man, it’s cloudy and cool this morning, and I just want to be lazy.” So it’s really bigger gatherings with friends for me, or times I don’t know others. Or people who don’t want to let you leave.
There are much more terrible things in life than being liked, I know, but I prefer the company of a handful of close friends. I see Shawn regularly, and it’s never a chore. My friend Deacon (mentioned him in the friend episode)…always nice hanging out with Deacon. But once I’ve put in for my one social activity a week, I don’t want another. Those weeks when someone comes in from out of town (unless it’s my friend, Don, who was mentioned in this episode) and then a weekend full of visits and things…it exhausts me. It’s not that I dislike being around others, but I prefer that solitude that comes with a weekend all to myself. It sound offensive to some — that I’d want to do “nothing at all,” than hang out with them, but that’s not quite it. Outside of a few close friends, I still feel like that awkward kid I used to be who doesn’t know how to communicate. So I gravitate toward the friendships I feel most comfortable with and a whole lot of time in my Fortress of Solitude.
deaconmc says
Well done, glad your friendship creates this podcast 😉
gorillamen says
Deacon: I’m definitely glad to know you and Shawn. Wouldn’t be the writer I am without you and…wouldn’t be the podcaster I am without Shawn. (And you’re both good for just that straight-up friendship thing, too!)